Sorry guys for an apparent inaction in this blog ever since its inception. My new appointment at the University of GourBanga and changing responsibilities with it made it a bit difficult for me. (I’ve always been good at excuses!)
Life often props up with its ugly face delivering a catastrophic blow to an otherwise happy movement. We all know that but when the occasion really arrives it becomes hard to bear that. That’s what makes me return here, to this page, —a sudden, postmodern slap of tragedy. A deadly one. My father-in-law is no more. He passed away on Friday, the 3rd of July 2009.
That puts an end to a mere 66-year life—a mediocre existence, a paltry pension and realistic concerns for his family. That’s where it hurts most. The sheer reality of the event makes it even harder to be believed. Had he been ailing, a troublesome old hag with bed sore, existing like an organism; death would have been a cause for rejoice. There are people in my family for whom death would be a blessing. But the person who used to look after them without ever complaining is now himself beyond human reach.
My father-in-law was never an extraordinary person. He had worked for the UCO Bank, built a house, got his daughters married, retired, maintained all important documents with an extraordinary precision, made all payments well before due date, never neglected an ailment, hated avant-garde bangla band and had believed in himself. He had always been some kind of a patriarch with strongly gendered views about society and culture. Yet he had literally broad shoulders on which he could take an immense load. And at troubled times, his sheer presence was an immense moral booster for everyone around him. Tall and erect, he was always active and dynamic till almost the last day.
In fact he had walked into the Peerless hospital with those long and confident strides on the 16th of June, never to return. After 18 days of struggle we ended up on the losing side. He had reported an acute stomach pain, visited a doctor who referred him to the Peerless apparently for some routine examinations. A USG and CT Scan pointed to a lump that had grown to the size of a football inside the stomach. An operation followed which took longer than expected (4 hours.) The lump was removed and he was gradually recovering but after solid food conditions deteriorated. Internal bleeding began, blood had again to be transfused (a total of 6 bottles), blood pressure fell below recognition leading to an ARF (Acute renal failure) followed by convulsion, a massive cardiac arrest and cerebral stroke. All this happened within 10 hours. The question why an otherwise healthy man with good BP, heart and kidney fell prey to such major attacks remains unanswered. The doctors hardly explained matters, they only pointed out that condition is worsening so that we remain prepared for the inevitable instead of thinking of questioning treatment standards.
My daughter, at two and a half years has been deprived of his love and affections that were due to her. My mother-in-law, always heavily dependent on him has nothing more to cling to. His wish of seeing both his granddaughters together during the durga pujas remain unfulfilled. As for me, our attachment has always been more than a father-in-law—son-in-law relation. He had known and loved me since I was in class 10. He was my ‘kaku’ who later graduated to be my ‘baba’ by virtue of my love and marriage with his wonderful younger daughter. It was he who, despite everything, taught those wonderful values in my wife.
Mr. Subrata Kumar Sinha, wherever you are, rest in peace.
Life often props up with its ugly face delivering a catastrophic blow to an otherwise happy movement. We all know that but when the occasion really arrives it becomes hard to bear that. That’s what makes me return here, to this page, —a sudden, postmodern slap of tragedy. A deadly one. My father-in-law is no more. He passed away on Friday, the 3rd of July 2009.
That puts an end to a mere 66-year life—a mediocre existence, a paltry pension and realistic concerns for his family. That’s where it hurts most. The sheer reality of the event makes it even harder to be believed. Had he been ailing, a troublesome old hag with bed sore, existing like an organism; death would have been a cause for rejoice. There are people in my family for whom death would be a blessing. But the person who used to look after them without ever complaining is now himself beyond human reach.
My father-in-law was never an extraordinary person. He had worked for the UCO Bank, built a house, got his daughters married, retired, maintained all important documents with an extraordinary precision, made all payments well before due date, never neglected an ailment, hated avant-garde bangla band and had believed in himself. He had always been some kind of a patriarch with strongly gendered views about society and culture. Yet he had literally broad shoulders on which he could take an immense load. And at troubled times, his sheer presence was an immense moral booster for everyone around him. Tall and erect, he was always active and dynamic till almost the last day.
In fact he had walked into the Peerless hospital with those long and confident strides on the 16th of June, never to return. After 18 days of struggle we ended up on the losing side. He had reported an acute stomach pain, visited a doctor who referred him to the Peerless apparently for some routine examinations. A USG and CT Scan pointed to a lump that had grown to the size of a football inside the stomach. An operation followed which took longer than expected (4 hours.) The lump was removed and he was gradually recovering but after solid food conditions deteriorated. Internal bleeding began, blood had again to be transfused (a total of 6 bottles), blood pressure fell below recognition leading to an ARF (Acute renal failure) followed by convulsion, a massive cardiac arrest and cerebral stroke. All this happened within 10 hours. The question why an otherwise healthy man with good BP, heart and kidney fell prey to such major attacks remains unanswered. The doctors hardly explained matters, they only pointed out that condition is worsening so that we remain prepared for the inevitable instead of thinking of questioning treatment standards.
My daughter, at two and a half years has been deprived of his love and affections that were due to her. My mother-in-law, always heavily dependent on him has nothing more to cling to. His wish of seeing both his granddaughters together during the durga pujas remain unfulfilled. As for me, our attachment has always been more than a father-in-law—son-in-law relation. He had known and loved me since I was in class 10. He was my ‘kaku’ who later graduated to be my ‘baba’ by virtue of my love and marriage with his wonderful younger daughter. It was he who, despite everything, taught those wonderful values in my wife.
Mr. Subrata Kumar Sinha, wherever you are, rest in peace.
